To Blog or Not to Blog?

To blog or not to blog?

I've never wanted to blog. I've always seen it as some sort of weirdly narcisstic hobby in a wildly narcisstic culture. I don't read blogs. I don't visit blogs. I don't think about blogs or recommend blogs to my friends or even really like the word blog--it sounds like the name of caveman in a B-movie. I've resisted blogging and the temptation to fill the cyber ethers with my inane ramblings for years. It just seems like the height of silliness and superfluousness to me to clunk away at a keyboard like a hairless monkey and hope that the words I'm flinging amount to more than senseless prose-poo.....metaphorically speaking.

So why am I "blogging" now? One reason: Money. Moohla, cash, coins, payola, cheddar, dough, dosh, Benjamins, bread, bucks, funds, jack, juice, loot, swag, lucre. greenbacks, wampum, dinero, clams....you get the idea. Seems as good a reason as any, no?

Now I'm fully aware that my little word trifles don't directly turn to golden nuggets a la Rumplestiltskin. And I realize I'm not spinning gold outta straw. But I have learned that in order for the Google Gods--and by extension my potential clients--to find my humble little business floating in the Matrix, that I must increase my online presence. One way to do that effectively (so I'm told) is to blog, blog, blog like a light in the fog. So, after much deliberation my inner Captain Picard commanded thusly: "Make it so."

I labored for months on how to make this a cohesive, comprehensive effort to promote my business Painted Poetry, LLC. Which you can visit anytime....cough, cough....by simply going to www.paintedpoetryhome.com....wink, wink. I originally wanted to write only about my current art projects or things relevant to my business. But I couldn't find enough interesting topics about the glamorous world of decorative painting to motivate me to start writing. Plus I wanted to find a way to make a themed blog in which I could potentially experiment with affiliate marketing.

Fortunately or unfortunately I have too many plates spinning to serve up a single, juicy dish or deliver a simple menu. I do pet portraits, murals, faux painting, art shows, athlete portraits, etc. My real interests lie outside the world of art and most definitely beyond the realms of decorative painting. Also, running a respectable business I wanted to make sure not to alienate customers with my usual bombast loaded with filthy word grenades. But then I decided "Fuck it". Popeye was right. I am what I am....a mantra which sounds suspiciously like it has sanskrit origins.

Those who know me are aware that I'm a filthy-mouthed Irishman most of the time. Those who know me also know that for the most part I'm respectable, hard-working, courteous and polite--especially when I'm on the clock. Another famous gemini, Walt Whitman once said "Do I contradict myself? I contain multitudes". So it is with your humble narrator. I've decided to embrace my natural tendency to explore every avenue and wander down the mental paths I choose. I'll just write about whatever I want to.

Essentially I've elected to throw caution to the wind and write like I speak. I've decided it would be infinitely more interesting to explore topics I'm actually interested in instead of writing commercials for myself and my business. The golden thread I'm looking for is not about art per se but instead about the experience of an artful life. And that includes all sorts of things not directly related to the artist's business but, in a peeking-behind-the-curtains-of-Oz sort of way, exposes the spinning cogs in the machine that is Painted Poetry, LLC. Narcissistic or not, blogging seems to be a necessary evil for the modern entrepreneur. Soooo.......

This blog will be whatever I want it to be. This blog will be honest. This blog will be uncensored. This blog will be grammatically incorrect. Hopefully this new direction will be more fulfilling than simply trying to write ad copy for kid's murals and faux-painted garage doors.

In any case, let the narcisstic juices flow and the verbal volcano blow.

Yes, Captain Picard....I will make it so ;-)

Guinness or Grappa? This Summer's Toughest Decision.

I am, as Iggy Pop describes himself, a 100% red-blooded American dog. That's just a fact.

However, my ancestry is distinctly Islander...specifically the British Isles. As far as I know the genetic soup from which I sprang is more an Irish stew than anything else. I've always enjoyed the benefits of my Irish heritage: a quick wit, an inherent appreciation for beer, pluck, a song in my heart and a skip in my step.....as well as an amazing capacity for brooding and a knack for cursing.

But recently I've considered making a switch to Italian. Most of the time I'm mistaken for Italian anyway. I'd argue the food is better, the fashion sense more refined...not to mention the cars. I suspect I'd have more luck with the ladies. Both have famous tempers and world renown boxers--so that's a draw. But I think the major factor in this decision has been that Italy has been good to me. Very good.

For 15 years I've been painting Tuscan murals, Italian frescoes, and applying Venetian plasters nonstop. Our clients have a passion for Italy that inspires them to paint their whole houses in an attempt to capture the essence of Italia. Most recently we've been commissioned to create a faux stone hallway, marbleize giant pillars, and paint a variety of Italian themed murals. Nearly every project has been somehow Italian affiliated or inspired.

So much so that I've created an entire portfolio of just Italian themed work. Click HERE to see. In addition I've added a ton of other pictures to the rest of the portfolios as well as adding a new Testimonials page to share some of the great things our clients have said to us. Click HERE to read them. It's been a very busy...and very Italian...6 months.

Of course I'd never really trade "Erin Go Bragh" for "Italia Per Sempre"....I'm just not hairy enough. But I will say unequivocally "Thank You!!" to Italy and all it's fans that have supported and inspired us through the years.

Please take the tour and let me know what you think of the updates. And remember.......Abbondanza!!!!

Lesson From a Sweaty Man.....

This morning as I arrived at the job site a sweaty man asked to borrow my cell phone. Normally I would run for the border if this happened but he looked friendly enough so I obliged. He lived two houses away from where I was working and had been accidentally locked out by his wife when he went on his morning jog. He tried to reach her 3 times to no avail. So, I offered to drive him to a location a mile or so away where he had a spare set of keys. On the way he spotted his wife with two friends chillaxing at a nearby Starbucks (all on phones). I dropped him off with her and went on my merry way.

As I turned the corner he approached the car and I offered to give him a lift back to his house. He relayed that his wife didn't even think to offer him a ride back to the house. She was too busy with her friends chatting and texting. A subtle wave of sadness rose up and filled the car. He looked resigned to the situation but I could tell that he was disappointed. I'm sure he remembered a time when their love was in bloom and she would have eagerly charioted her wayward prince back to the castle.

Now, like so many of us, she took him for granted. He had become a thing, a role--father, husband, irritant, convenience, protector, chauffeur, partner, etc. Her eyes had become dull and all the colors of this man melted into a dingy gray for her. I imagine he may have been swept up in the slow currents of daily life and lost his vision for her as well. But his brain sparkled with a remembrance of what once was just for a moment.

I realized that we all do this. While dodging all the slings and arrows of our fortune we become calloused with grievances, disappointments and stressors. We begin to expect the sludge of life to bubble up at every turn. And the saddest bit is how we grow immune to the charms of our loved ones.

So, realizing this dismal fact, I resolved to squeegee my brain and take a fresh look around me. Since I was at work I focused on my relationship with my business partner Rebecca (she was away on another project). For ten years we have tackled hundreds of projects together and for ten years we have had the same arguments at work. "You're going too light!" "You're going too dark!" or some variation of that. In the end we are like chocolate and peanut butter, but while we work it's like vinegar and oil. Like most relationships the collateral damage of this sort of friction is apparent. Some days we...kind of....hate eachother.

So I decided to make a list of everything wonderful about her, all that I had forgotten. I spent all day cataloging all the things I have been missing while focusing on our challenges together. I came up with a list of over a hundred things and I expect I'll find more.

I highly recommend this experiment to anyone who thinks they "know" someone, especially someone close. Do yourself a favor and take a few minutes to start making a list like this and you'll feel like you're finding diamonds in the sand.

Since my list is too long to post, I'll go all Dave Letterman and give you the top 10. And, since this is a business blog I will share the more "vocational" of her beauties. If you know her please comment and add your 2 cents to my list:

My "Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Have Rebecca Paint In Your Home"

1. She is Beautiful! Sunny sweet smile, eyes like hazel moonbeams, and a voice like an angel. Despite the sheer physical demands of the work she always remains soft and graceful as a kitten--well, to the clients anyway ;-) Seriously, most subcontractors, myself included have sweaty pits, muddy shoes and look like extras in a Heironymous Bosch painting. She is a wildflower among weeds.

2. She has skillz! Not ninja skills or jet flying skills, but real, amazing painting skills. She can duplicate nearly any stone, create amazing custom finishes, and a perform a million other magic tricks with a paintbrush. She also has extensive training with design and offers her expertise with fabrics, furniture, etc.

3. She is modest. Her partner happens to be a blowhard who loudly toots his own horn, but Rebecca is naturally graceful and self effacing. She under promises and over delivers. She's more like a cool wind than a gust of hot air.

4. She shows up. Surprisingly we've learned that many subs just don't come when they say they will. For some reason Rebecca loves scheduling and is always there to do the job......maybe a few minutes late now and then....ahem...but the work is always done when it's supposed to be done.

5. She is naturally fair minded. She will never gouge a customer or inflate a price. She always delivers a great service at a reasonable price. She knows when to hold em, knows when to fold em. Sometimes a client will get a little faux crazy and want to paint every room. It works on occasion, but it's not always a good idea. Foregoing the extra income she will advise when it's time to reel it in a bit. I think this shows class.

6. She has integrity. Despite all the challenges of being a single mother...and there are many....and of an economy that stinks like a rotten swamp, she keeps on keeping on with style. Many nights she stays up well into the night making custom samples for clients. She always gets the job done even if exhausted.

7. She cares. She really empathizes with the clients and their needs. She puts real thought and caring into creating the best possible product for our clients.

8. She is detail oriented. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how hard it is to reach, your faux marble will sing with detail, your faux will be meticulously executed, and your walls will take on a new life.

9. She is amazing with color. She knows what colors go with what, what paint company makes which color, what undertones work with what fabrics. Absolutely a pro.

10. She is on the ball. I wouldn't be able to do any of this without her. She is the unsung hero who keeps records of all the colors, knows where the clients live, has files with details I've long since forgotten, etc.. It doesn't draw as much spotlight as painting murals but its amazing in it's own right.

The point is she's awesome. Don't you agree?

Don't whine about it...Wine about it!

Greetings and Salutations!

Forgive the impersonal nature of this post. I'm reaching out to my friends, Romans and countrymen to share a message from the Universe. It is this....drink more wine. I don't know why....maybe the Great Magnet has a vested interest in the preservation of the world's vineyards. Perhaps it's a message during these trying times to savor the good things in life. Or maybe my latent alcoholic Irish genes are just expressing themselves in some strange Dionysian fantasy, but I spent all last week surrounded by wine.

Coincidence? I think not.

We completed an overhaul on a wine cellar. All week I was moving bottles, staring at photos of vineyards, imagining myself with Monica Bellucci in a countryside convertable...that sort of thing.

In case you wanted to see what the before and after looked like I posted it on our website: http://www.paintedpoetryhome.com/Gallery.asp?GalleryID=61326&AKey=5MXCH682

Simultaneously I was making a last minute donation to the Florida Poodle Rescue's annual charity event. Again....wine themed!....Behold! "Poodle in Wine Country" Click here to see: http://www.paintedpoetryhome.com/Gallery.asp?GalleryID=30302&AKey=5MXCH682

So, you know....just think about it...Let me know what you think.....Have a great weekend--and as always--if you likes what you sees, sends em our way pleez.....

Thank you for your support.... Bartles & James, and Robert

So You Say You Want a Revolution?!?!

"Nothing ever changes!" "Same ol' S**t, different day" "You can't always get what you want"

I agree. Sort of. We hear these ideas parroted pretty much 24/7. These old and crusty mental treats have been chewed on by the populace since the first caveman realized the red chicken tasted just like the white chicken.....and that chicken tastes like pigeon...sort of. When we tune in to the media we see politicians gridlocked (they love it!), trouble in the Middle East (shocking!), and commercials for the latest diet craze or pill (because the old ones obviously didn't work) among thousands of other examples of brain cramping inefficiency. It's frustrating when things seem wrong, out of control or lost in Limbo.

The idea of Change for the sake of Change seems like a pretty viable political slogan. I think someone should try it ;)

The truth is that things do need to change....and they will. Naturally. And they will contiue to change all the time. Sometimes Nature can use a little push now and then, but you would be surprised how quickly and easily the tides will shift from low to high if you follow Mr. McCartney's advice and just "Let it Be".

Right now my yard is sunny and filled with the scent of orange blossoms where last week it was just chilly gray skies perfumed with a hint of my neighbor's barbecue smell. I didn't have to yell at the tree to hurry up or protest with signs or motivate it with cheers. The time had just come. When the time is right and the conditions are ripe you will find your foot in the next step before you even know it. I think that cultural change, political change and personal change grow in the same way. Create the right conditions for the soil and flowers bloom by themselves.

Why do I bring this all up? Because it is time to spring forward and try something new. Dye your hair, try some sushi, go to a line dancing class....or not. Maybe it's time to paint the house a little bit. I encourage you to see what kind of profound change is possible in your home or business with Painted Poetry. Sometimes even the smallest change can make a huge difference.

Click here to see a portfolio of some of the before and after pictures from our projects: HERE!

We purposely strive to make changing your environment easy as possible. We help you pick the right colors, coordinate with your accessories and endeavor to create the biggest visual bang for your hard-earned buck. We also know that your time and schedule are important. At Painted Poetry we do our best to be in and out as quickly and quietly as possible.

Again, why bother to change? I'll tell you why....In part two.....

You Say You Want A Revolution...AGAIN?!

I'm certain that you crave certainty. And I'm certain that you crave CHANGE . I'm also certain that in order to create a change you probably want to be certain that it's a good idea. Or if you aren't certain you want a change you can certainly agree that change can be good sometimes. And certainly if you aren't certain that the change is good that you can change back to something you feel certain about in the future. Certainly.

The good thing about paint is that unlike other forms of change it's the easiest to, well....change. It's almost completely risk free in that regard and is probably the fastest way to change how you feel about your environment without literally moving and changing your environment. But again, why change your home or business? I told you I'd tell you why and here is the scoop: I learned from reading about restaurants that the most important factors for a successful restaurant were not food, service, overall value or even a super hot hostess. The real success factors are physical ambiance.

Weird right? Lighting, music/noise, seating, colors and location in an interesting area have more to do with your enjoyment of a meal and repeated patronage than even the tastiest treat. Well, that and booze. The reason ambiance is so important is that it makes your entire body feel good. The right lighting can make your husband look more like George Clooney and less like George Jetson. The right background music can subtly influence you to "Get it On" as Marvin Gaye would suggest rather than "Kick Out the Jams" which you might feel compelled to do while noshing at a biker hamburger joint. The high-backed seats will make you feel more cozy and intimate, the place will feel more alive with a couple of plants, and in the right part of town you will feel like your are snugly nestled in literally "the place to be".

How many times have you not bought some clothes you were trying on because the cheap, stark lighting in the dressing room made you look like a pile of quivering goose fat stuffed into tube sock (what, just me?). Or, conversely, have you ever been in a charmingly lit bathroom and thought you saw a movie star in the mirror--even if it was Steve Buscemi. You get the idea. It affects you.

So I ask you, how might your own home dining experience be bettered with some toasted-bread tones on the dining room walls? Or would your marital romance be affected by your own private Italian view instead of flat, white walls? Would your restaurant or office feel more friendly or unique with a makeover? How would that affect customer satisfaction? How would you start your day if the colors in your bathroom made your skin look radiant?

We can transform your space into an oasis of visual harmony with color and texture (furniture not included) with the same easy grace it takes an orange blossom to pop. Again, it's time for change. I'm certain of it.

Ode to the King!!!

Exactly 12 years ago my life was a picture of lameness. My family had finally splintered and morphed into an episode of the Jerry Springer Show. I was living in a mobile home in the Ocala forest with my stepdad (I had moved to be nearer the punk band I was in). I had no girlfriend (it was slim pickins in Altoona--my lowest moment was watching the bouncing beauties training in their cute riding outfits at a nearby horse ranch) and, not able to find a viable art gig, I was depressed and destitute. I found myself working the night shift in a metal factory nearly an hour from home. Every night I spent 8 soul-strangling hours arranging thousands of tiny metal pieces for processing--for a sweet, sweet $6 per hour.

My boss was a googly-eyed close talker who would drape his veiny arm around my shoulder and deliver my assignments in an intense machine gun burst of words (ahhh cocaine). In the station next to me was a plump Latina with doughy cheeks and an upper lip forested with thick sprouts of dark hair. She was a delight. I considered her my cellmate. Each night, despite my attempts to ignore her with my headphones she would regale me with tale after tale about her no account, abusive boyfriend (ironically for us both because she was keeping me from hearing the stories of no account abusive boyfriends from the callers on Loveline). I couldn't always hear her to catch the details, but I always enjoyed her warm, thick clouds of dragon breath that melted the air.

My only joy at the time was the two hours of Loveline each night that crackled and faded in an out of my dilapidated headphones. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew entertained and informed millions of lost souls between 10PM and midnight. I tuned in religiously. Each night Adam would rant about whatever beastly thoughts would dare to cross into the traffic of his mind. Like a broken slot machine he just poured out a steady jackpot of comedy gold. Offering both sage, real world advice and ridiculously innovative solutions (attack crows, crotch-sniffing STD dogs, Recylarolla, etc.) Adam preached the gospel of common sense without a hint of sanctimony or latent hypocrisy. Love him or hate him he is as honest and refreshingly authentic as a human can get--which is especially rare in Hollywood.

What meant most to me were Adam's stories about his early life. We had a lot in common. Wacky, wandering family (check) depression (check) miserable, demeaning jobs (double check) and the burning frustration of being young, smart and rudderless. His advice of "get a job and fight to keep it" was about as close as I was going to get to career advice.

Since then I've worked countless hours building and painting and struggling and exploring whatever artistic jungle paths I could carve out. All the while there has been one voice heating up my headphones while I toiled--Adam Carolla (aka Ace Rockolla). Recently he celebrated the 1 year anniversary of his pirate radio style Podcast . I sent him this portrait I painted of him as a thank you for being literally the "voice in the wilderness" for me, and for his general, overwhelming awesomeness. It is stuffed with personal jokes and references that only his fans would appreciate.

I got the idea of painting him as a knightly king after hearing him joke about it on an episode of Loveline with Jay Mohr. You can see a slideshow with the original clip HERE

for a better explanation.

Admittedly I went a little crazy with the gold-leaf, but I think it worked out pretty nicely. To see the full portrait just click HERE Now that he has children of his own I hope it comes in handy for them to ward off the nightmares that come galloping up in the darkness. Or at least he finds it a funny addition to his garage.

Either way, I say with the deepest respect to the shimmering warrior-poet of the airwaves Thank you and...MAHALO!