This morning as I arrived at the job site a sweaty man asked to borrow my cell phone. Normally I would run for the border if this happened but he looked friendly enough so I obliged. He lived two houses away from where I was working and had been accidentally locked out by his wife when he went on his morning jog. He tried to reach her 3 times to no avail. So, I offered to drive him to a location a mile or so away where he had a spare set of keys. On the way he spotted his wife with two friends chillaxing at a nearby Starbucks (all on phones). I dropped him off with her and went on my merry way.
As I turned the corner he approached the car and I offered to give him a lift back to his house. He relayed that his wife didn't even think to offer him a ride back to the house. She was too busy with her friends chatting and texting. A subtle wave of sadness rose up and filled the car. He looked resigned to the situation but I could tell that he was disappointed. I'm sure he remembered a time when their love was in bloom and she would have eagerly charioted her wayward prince back to the castle.
Now, like so many of us, she took him for granted. He had become a thing, a role--father, husband, irritant, convenience, protector, chauffeur, partner, etc. Her eyes had become dull and all the colors of this man melted into a dingy gray for her. I imagine he may have been swept up in the slow currents of daily life and lost his vision for her as well. But his brain sparkled with a remembrance of what once was just for a moment.
I realized that we all do this. While dodging all the slings and arrows of our fortune we become calloused with grievances, disappointments and stressors. We begin to expect the sludge of life to bubble up at every turn. And the saddest bit is how we grow immune to the charms of our loved ones.
So, realizing this dismal fact, I resolved to squeegee my brain and take a fresh look around me. Since I was at work I focused on my relationship with my business partner Rebecca (she was away on another project). For ten years we have tackled hundreds of projects together and for ten years we have had the same arguments at work. "You're going too light!" "You're going too dark!" or some variation of that. In the end we are like chocolate and peanut butter, but while we work it's like vinegar and oil. Like most relationships the collateral damage of this sort of friction is apparent. Some days we...kind of....hate eachother.
So I decided to make a list of everything wonderful about her, all that I had forgotten. I spent all day cataloging all the things I have been missing while focusing on our challenges together. I came up with a list of over a hundred things and I expect I'll find more.
I highly recommend this experiment to anyone who thinks they "know" someone, especially someone close. Do yourself a favor and take a few minutes to start making a list like this and you'll feel like you're finding diamonds in the sand.
Since my list is too long to post, I'll go all Dave Letterman and give you the top 10. And, since this is a business blog I will share the more "vocational" of her beauties. If you know her please comment and add your 2 cents to my list:
My "Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Have Rebecca Paint In Your Home"
1. She is Beautiful! Sunny sweet smile, eyes like hazel moonbeams, and a voice like an angel. Despite the sheer physical demands of the work she always remains soft and graceful as a kitten--well, to the clients anyway ;-) Seriously, most subcontractors, myself included have sweaty pits, muddy shoes and look like extras in a Heironymous Bosch painting. She is a wildflower among weeds.
2. She has skillz! Not ninja skills or jet flying skills, but real, amazing painting skills. She can duplicate nearly any stone, create amazing custom finishes, and a perform a million other magic tricks with a paintbrush. She also has extensive training with design and offers her expertise with fabrics, furniture, etc.
3. She is modest. Her partner happens to be a blowhard who loudly toots his own horn, but Rebecca is naturally graceful and self effacing. She under promises and over delivers. She's more like a cool wind than a gust of hot air.
4. She shows up. Surprisingly we've learned that many subs just don't come when they say they will. For some reason Rebecca loves scheduling and is always there to do the job......maybe a few minutes late now and then....ahem...but the work is always done when it's supposed to be done.
5. She is naturally fair minded. She will never gouge a customer or inflate a price. She always delivers a great service at a reasonable price. She knows when to hold em, knows when to fold em. Sometimes a client will get a little faux crazy and want to paint every room. It works on occasion, but it's not always a good idea. Foregoing the extra income she will advise when it's time to reel it in a bit. I think this shows class.
6. She has integrity. Despite all the challenges of being a single mother...and there are many....and of an economy that stinks like a rotten swamp, she keeps on keeping on with style. Many nights she stays up well into the night making custom samples for clients. She always gets the job done even if exhausted.
7. She cares. She really empathizes with the clients and their needs. She puts real thought and caring into creating the best possible product for our clients.
8. She is detail oriented. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how hard it is to reach, your faux marble will sing with detail, your faux will be meticulously executed, and your walls will take on a new life.
9. She is amazing with color. She knows what colors go with what, what paint company makes which color, what undertones work with what fabrics. Absolutely a pro.
10. She is on the ball. I wouldn't be able to do any of this without her. She is the unsung hero who keeps records of all the colors, knows where the clients live, has files with details I've long since forgotten, etc.. It doesn't draw as much spotlight as painting murals but its amazing in it's own right.
The point is she's awesome. Don't you agree?
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